I recently posted an ad on Craig’s List under “Computer Gigs”, and the responses I got make me want to write a book on how not to apply for a job.
One guy in particular has been emailing me for two days with such great comedy I had to post it. This is taken from multiple emails after I told him I was Mac focused and not interested he KEPT EMAILING me. Can you believe this?
“honestly am not nor was I really ever interested in working with you„ like I said I am successful and can buy and sell you 5 times over.. dont need the money„ you made one critical mistake that many people have made with me„ you underestimated my ability and knowledge..
I will match my tech knowlege and computer and software and hardware to anything you have or use…run a dual QUAD core, thats 8 cores„ with 8 gigs ram, a few terabytes of DISK space, the latest SLI nvidia cards with 1 GIG video memory on windows 7 and VISTA, on dual boot.. with twin 10 MB fiber lines for DSL redundancy
oh yeah and on twin 28” LCD monitors at 1080p with HD recorders in real timecare to do a 3d rendering test on your computer to compare speed, or how about a database search test„ maybe photoshop speed test? lolyou have a fuking PO box for an address, for your businessbtw drive a 100k mercedes.. and was doing this when you were playing in the sandbox lol weting your pants..where is your technology you use? lol, some google gimmick..with voicemail, and a craptastic mac, that is slow as shit, not a real workstation, emulating 64 bit likeOS X does layered on 32 bit with a 64 bit shell„ ( opps you didnt know that )? GOOGLE is dying ,dude the stock in 1/2 and their venture captical investors who I know 2 are running away, it was all hype, MS is eating their share slowly but surely let me guess you voted for OBAMA too, lol and you drive a green electric car…the leftie, socialist losers„ who are anti american, want to socialize everything for the losers that dont want to work and all use MACS, that figures…was not trying to impress you at all. cause you dont impress me to be honest, was never planning on working with you,that is the funny part.think about it, why would I have dissed the MAC in our early conversations if I wanted a job„ lol that would not have been smart? I knew the minuite you were a mac zealot and MACANUT as they all are, and a liberal, that I was never going to work with you..
I went around and said INTEL and WINDOWS will crush all of them and they will not be around in 10 years which is exactly what happened. same with google„ and I predicted that a year ago„ watch and get ready to cry, cause they are gonna take apple down with them„expecially when steven jobs croaks„ his crappy company will go with him.. Microsoft is going retail and opening many many stores to compete with apple, and like every time in the past will CRUSH themlike the bug they are. actually I can now see why you see the world so skewed and warped.. I am not nor was I really ever interested in working with you„ like I said I am successful and can buy and sell you 5 times over.. dont need the money„ I am just amazed how you liberal green mac users are always so wrong about technology„ GOOGLE is a flash in the pan, ann the tech guys who are real professsionals including all the trade mags, and publications say GOOGLE does only one thing wellSEARCH and they should stick with it. all their other crap including their email, and little toy widgets are gimmicks„ and MS if you would bother to see the Live techonolgies, they havethe new accelerators that every company is adopting„ like UPS, FEDEX, YAHOO, GPS, INTEL, etc are developing for, and new technologies like SILVERLIGHT, for the web, for real time interactive 3d expierences„ it really makes you and your mac and google a joke… since wall street loved google so much and set the hype about GOOGLE people like you believed it why the stock went up to 800 then went down to 300„ lol since wall street’s record is so good lately are deceiving people , and look at the mess we are in„ the fact they hyped google says it all, really they dont know shit as far as getting around spam filters„ they are easy , if you know what the algorythems they use, what fonts they look for,what key words etc.. since you dont„ your clients suffer as you cannot properly then setup spam filters. lol also ATT YAHOO does not use the same spam filters as FREE YAHOO 2 totally different servers and services„ ATT YAHOO has the best spam filters money can buy, in fact you can setup 500 seperate custom filters, and they all learn dynamicallyATT YAHOO is a totally different email service than FREE YAHOO another classic mistake you make.your ego, like your spam filters is flawed, why you are all over the web, your ego undos you nuff said„ Im done, just some parting advice„ dont think your so smart„ and others are dumb„ with an IQ of 165, ex mensa, etc„you underestimated me totally.. ?”
“A man got in a taxi cab to be driven to work. They were about to turn a corner, but had to wait for the light. The taxi cab driver wasn’t sure his blinkers were working so he said to the man “will you look out the window and make sure my blinkers are working?” As requested, the man stuck his head out the window and responded “yes, no, yes, no, yes, no…”—
I’m here at LaidOffCamp in SF, and Strands is sponsoring. We’re spreading the word about our new developers network and freely available API. The company has worked hard over the years building amazing recommendation technology and it’s great to make it available to hardworking folks like the ones here at LaidOffCamp. Yay!
From March 13th until 17th in the wonderfully non-Texas like mini-state of Austin, geeks from all over the world will converge in one place to talk technology, trends, and make new friends.
All of the awesome people I’ve met in this industry, I’ve met at SXSW.
This year I’ll be moderating a panel on behalf of Strands, to talk about recommendation technology.
Here are the details:
"You may also be interested in…" How recommendation affects our digital lives. An interactive discussion about recommendation technology, implementation and analytics. How can it help your site or app? Come find out. Sponsored by Strands Business Solutions.
Moderating: Moi Panel: Mike Hudack, CEO of Blip.tv, Alex Hillman, Generally Awesome guy and co-founder of IndyHall, and Trevor Legwinski…also of Strands.
It’s going to be on Monday March 16th at 5pm! You should totally be there. We’re going to talk about recommendation technology and how it affects our experience online.
If you’re going to be at SXSW, lets meet up! Email me at drdrew (at) gmail (dot) com!
Example 123123 of why athletes are overpaid dipshits
Two Yankees had their assets frozen because of some investments their brokers made on their behalf.
Here are their REAL quotes:
"I can’t pay bills right now," Damon was quoted as saying by foxsports.com. "That started on Tuesday. I had to pay a trainer for working out during the offseason. I told him, ‘Just hold on for a little bit and hopefully all this stuff gets resolved.’ "
"I didn’t have money with Stanford, but all my credit card accounts are frozen right now because of that situation," Nady was quoted as saying by foxsports.com. "I’m trying to get an apartment in New York. I can’t put a credit card down to hold it."
Thank you everyone for the support during this fun #twittertattoo thing.
A lot of people have said that I’m nuts and have asked me why someone would want their twitter name tattooed on me. I say why not. It’s for the Make-A-Wish Foundation that does amazing things for kids.
Kids who dont use twitter and will never hear about this. Kids who are dealing with such large issues that we can’t even comprehend. Myself included.
All of my tattoos mean something to me. This one will mean the most. Because it will mean that through a very awesome community of friends on twitter, we were able to make a difference in a kids life. A kid who doesn’t get to turn off their issues and obsessively check email and read tech news ;)
Bidding ends at midnight. We’re at $2008 and I know we can get it higher.
Lets step up. Thank you to everyone who has bid, retweeted, and shared the story.
hold me up in the palm of your hand lying to you is a river of sin your metaphores, your silent calls your feelings are too real let them spew, a fall from grace would do us good today
I’ll lift you up, we can love or cry hey, I’m in love, I’ll take you up again oh, oh…
all that to you in a church by the sea we’re late, but not in the same way we’re older today
I’ll lift you up, we can love or cry hey, I’m in love, I’ll take you up again your eyes have too many colours and I can only try your energy could be runnin’ low, now the juice is dry oh, oh…
images we cannot leave behind like two riversides we roll back yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
lift me up in the palm of your hand lying to you is a river of sin, oh… your metaphores, your silent calls your feelings are too real, oh… let them spew, a fall from grace with your love you had today, oh, oh hey…
From Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Greatest love scene in a flick almos ever.
So lets do all 3. Starting now, if you’d like me to permanently tattoo your twitter @ name on my left forearm, place a bid to @drew on twitter and use the hashtag #twittertattoo so I can track it. Highest bid wins and the proceeds go to the Make-A-Wish Foundation. You donate directly to them, send me the receipt and off I go for the tattoo.
Why? Because kids deserve awesomeness.
Only rule is: No Foul language/dirty word usernames made up at the last second, it must be an established account. Hey, it’s my body!
Bidding ends end of day Monday February 16th
Update: I will pay for the tattoo, and I will hold bidding open longer if theres enough action.
You can’t get this kind of info anywhere else folks, and that’s why I’m here. Bringing you the stuff you need to know.
Ever sit around and say damn…I wish so many people didn’t read my every annoying thought on Twitter?
So here goes nothing.
10 ways to decrease your Twitter followers.
10. Tweet 140 character messages one character at a time. This shit is annoying, yo…and people will drop you in droves.
9. Whine and complain about your life…a lot. Never go full emo though or you’ll be left with zero followers, and nobody wants to be a zero.
8. Post pictures of various body parts for no particular reason at all. A good twitpic of a toenail or armpit will surely lose those followers for you.
7. Tweetlie. Say that you’re out at this really rad party in the Mission, when you really aren’t. When the cool folk who are actually there see your tweet, you’re dead meat.
6. Agree with every single thing Scoble says. I tried this once, and even my mom dropped me.
5. Agree with every single thing Calacanis says. Just try it. I failed.
4. @ things to yourself as personal reminders. Such as “@drew take out the trash” or “@drew be sure to get bread”. Nobody wants to read that shit.
3. Tweet from the toilet. This is never funny or entertaining. Because we’ve all done it and imagining someone else doing it, let alone telling us about it….is fucking gross. This makes people flush their follow.
2. Every tinyurl you send is a Rick Roll. It’s over. Rick rickrolled everyone. It’s not funny or clever anymore. This will help you lose those pesky followers.
1. Call a prominent web celebrity a pompous asshole. (I would not advise this, you might actually end up with a negative number of followers.)
There you have it. 10 ways to decrease your Twitter followers.