I’m not sure what to feel/say when people say to me that I inspire them or that what we’re doing with Blame Cancer is amazing. It makes me feel stupid.
I’m doing the same thing anyone else would do in the same situation.
"Oh I don’t know, I’d probably cry and never leave my room"
All I know is I’ve met some fighters in the past 5 months. I’ve never considered myself a fighter…for anything as important as this.
But if I’ve learned anything, it’s that I am indeed a fighter. I don’t take no for an answer, I won’t just shut up and sit down because a disease tells me to.
I’m a moron.
You gotta be a moron to wanna be a fighter.
Why? Because it hurts. Fighting is what it sounds like. It means you’re going against something. Against something you can’t normally beat…otherwise it wouldn’t be a fight.
And you know what? I’m proud of being a moron, because if I went with statistics and suggestions and by history…I’d be well…sitting in my room crying.
You don’t have to be IN a situation to FIGHT a situation.
I’m not going to pull the “it could be you!” crap that you hear everywhere else. I don’t want it to be you, that’s why we’re fighting. So fight with us.
I have one more chemo treatment left. I just heard today that I don’t have to have radiation. One chemo treatment and one CTscan stands in the way of me going to Disney World with my family as a Survivor.
And cancer, you thought I was tough on you while I was in my darkest days during treatment? You aint seen shit yet you weak motherfucker. I’m coming for you. We’re coming for you.
Let’s crush the shit out of cancer.
If you’re a moron for being a fighter, imagine what you’d be for not being one.
We tweeted about this a while ago, and this was awesome to see in my inbox!
Kimberly Esposito sent a message to the members of Jen’s Team ….. The Esposito Family and Friends.
—————————— Subject: Wonderful News
We are happy to announce that a bone marrow donor has been found on the registry for Jen!!! We found out recently there is a man that is a perfect 10 out of 10 match for Jen, and he has generously agreed to undergo the surgery to give her his bone marrow. It is amazing to think that there is a person somewhere in the world that is a more perfect match for Jen than her own sisters, and that he is willing to literally give Jen the gift of life. It truly is a miracle. We wish we could hug him right now and express to him how lucky we are that he has answered all of our prayers. Unfortunately we cannot learn the identity of the donor until one year after the transplant, so we must wait.
Our new member of the family, whom we have decided to name “Fred” for the next year of anonymity, has to go through a physical examination in the upcoming weeks to ensure he is okay for the donation, and then should be undergoing the surgery on November 17th.
For Jen to prepare for the transplant, she will be going into Memorial Sloane-Kettering Cancer Center on November 9th to begin her intensive chemotherapy and total body radiation so that her body can accept the transplant. Once she receives the bone marrow, she will be in the hospital for approximately 4-6 weeks while it grows inside of her and hopefully cure her of leukemia.
Once Jen goes into Sloane-Kettering on November 9th, we will be sending out information on how to get blood and platelet donations to her which will definitely be needed! They will be taking donations at the Sloane-Kettering Blood Bank located in the hospital. I will let you all know as soon as the information is available.
Please continue to keep good thoughts and prayers for Jen in the upcoming weeks and please offer a prayer to our donor “Fred” for his generous gift.
Thanks to all of you for your love and support throughout all of this. All our love, Kim & The Esposito Family
On May 20th, I was diagnosed with Hodgkins. Phase one was “holy shit how am I going to survive this”. I assumed I would, hoped I would, but who knew.
After that, it’s all been a blur.
I don’t know whether I’m coming or going half the time. I’ve racked up more flying miles than I ever have in my life. How I haven’t gotten a cold or flu is beyond me. I don’t question these things anymore.
I’ve spoken in front of a ton of people who have lost friends, family members, and loved ones to a shit-tastic disease that once you’re diagnosed with it, it tries to own you.
It really does. From the treatments, to your mindset, once cancer is introduced into your life it’s cancer 24/7.
While everything has been a blur, I’ve felt every second of it.
I’m personally sick of it.
While I may come off like a complete asshat who doesn’t appreciate anything (which is not the case), I literally haven’t been able to enjoy a moment in 5 months without that stupid little cancer sitting right there saying “remember me, yep, i own you”. I of course chose to fight back and make cancer my bitch. But it’s a pesky bastard and on some days it gets the better of me…in a big way.
Not a dinner, or an ice cream cone, or a movie, or a Phillies National League title goes by without me getting the complete chills down my spine reminding me that I am forever changed. It’s scary.
So many positive things are happening but I don’t have the time or the energy to properly appreciate them. I see a picture of me and Ethan at the LIVESTRONG challenge from like 2 months ago…and I don’t even remember it. Seriously, you could say hey that’s photoshopped and you weren’t there…and I wouldn’t doubt it.
My brain is mush. I have pushed myself to places mentally and physically that I didn’t know existed. I am lucky to have so many people helping me out and pushing things forward with cancer awareness or I’d be dead right now.
That’s seriously no joke.
How can we make this better for other people? I’ve been called naive for trying to raise awareness for cancer research and cures. The dipshits have come out of the woodwork. The pessimists who wish to see success for nobody but themselves have the audacity to inflict that line of thinking when talking about peoples well being.
It has taken its toll. I’m sick of listening to myself sometimes. I question my trips, but I do it anyways.
Because cancer can and will be beaten. And we’ve got an army to do it. And with any good army, we pick up the fallen soldiers and push forward. One day cancer might get me but at least I have pushed as hard as I can and will continue to push hard so that the next soldier is ready to pick me up and move forward.
And then the battle will be won, and no person will ever have to sit around alone and on the verge of depression in their dirty apartment because they don’t have the energy to get out of bed, feeling like every day is a repeat of the day before like it was the movie Groundhog day, riding a Yo-Yo that is hell on earth like I have.
I have one more treatment. Might as well be 100. I feel like I’m crawling up a mountain blindfolded. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to let this stupid disease get the best of me.
One million people flocked to follow Ashton Kutcher to beat CNN in the “Race to a Million”. I mean hey, Dude Where’s my Car rocked, but really? Drew Carey is giving us the opportunity to not only raise awareness but raise money (and set a good example for others who can afford to do so) just by following him on Twitter.
Pessimists, I’ll say it one time.
Drew Carey does NOT need Twitter followers.
Drew Carey COULD just give a million to LIVESTRONG if he wanted to, but that news would be old news in 4 hours.
We have to think outside of ourselves and think outside of the box. Great work in cancer research has been done, but we have to step it up. Funding is needed, attention is needed.
Please help and do your part.
If none of that made any sense I #BlameDrewsCancer. And the stupid chemo that has robbed me of most of my cognitive thinking.
Cancer Ass Kicking comes to Vegas at Blog World Expo
So I got the invite to come to Blog World Expo in Vegas this year. I was on a super rad panel with very smart and inspiring people and I hope the video goes up soon.
You might have heard about this #beatcancer thing. Any time you can get the word cancer in front of people is amazing. Great job on that folks!
While here, Mr. Drew Carey passed the 100k follower mark! Know what that means? It means if Drew Barrymore (or any other Drew) decides to get involved, then her bid is going to have to beat $100k. Come on Drew’s!!!!
All of the feedback I’ve gotten is the same. Drew Carey really gets this. And he seems to be a really amazing person. Price is Right aside, TV aside, and that’s key. Good people do good things. Not everyone has $100k or a Million dollars to give. So you have the opportunity to donate with a very simple action.
Follow @DrewFromTV - Then on Nov. 9th, if he wins the auction, you’ll follow @Drew (but no worries if you already follow him, we’re just switching names, not accounts. Your follows stay fully intact. Mine too of course)
That’s it. Tell your friends, parents, co-workers, roomies, dogs, cats, pastors, ex-girlfriends or boyfriends. If they’re not on Twitter, now’s the time.
I’ve been traveling a lot lately. Or at least what seems like a lot. And by a lot I mean too much. I recognize that. And I’ve paid for it with exhaustion.
The way things have gone since chemo started has been, chemo week, then travel week. Chemo week, travel week. And so on and so on for 10 treatments now.
I get asked to speak a lot lately, and I think it’s cool. It’s not because I’m anyone special, though. I’m one more person fighting to kick cancer into a hole somewhere and cover it with dirt. The 13,000 people who have blamed my cancer for things, donated to LIVESTRONG, helped me out along the way…are the ones who should be going to all of these conferences and speaking engagements. But that would be an expensive trip ;)
I’ve had to turn a bunch of things down too unfortunately.
Blogworld Expo asked me to be on a panel called “Kicking Cancer’s Ass”. A title very near and dear to my heart, obviously…since it’s been my battle cry since being diagnosed with stage 3 Hodgkins Lymphoma.
My Dr and nurses cringe when they hear my schedule. But I have faith that I would know if there was something I couldn’t do. I have a great support system here in Philly, and they get concerned too, but know sometimes I just have to do it.
I’m tired of travel. I wish Mike Hudack of Blip.tv would invent that teleportation system we’ve talked about for the past few years.
I sound whiney. Sorry. I’m just really tired. I feel every bump on planes now, I am overtired to the point where I can’t sleep during a flight. I know that as soon as I get back it’s time for chemo 11. It’s just a crappy cycle that I can’t wait to be over.
So if I see you in Vegas and I look out of it, you’ll know why.
But for our panel on Thursday at 10am? I’ll have every bit of energy I have stored in the tank ready to go. Because people have to get our message. We aren’t doing enough. There’s much more we can do, to raise Cancer awareness. And we will.
I want to pack the room. I hear it holds 100+ people. There’s no excuse not to come. I’ll donate $1 to LIVESTRONG for every person that physically shows up.
If I know you and you don’t show, I’m going to give you shit. Because what’s your excuse?
"Wait, what? I don't get this whole Drew Carey thing"
Totally understandable. It’s been a busy past few days so I figured that a recap would be in order.
After my 9th chemo treatment, I got some awesome news. The masses in my neck, chest, and abdomen had been labeled by my Dr. as “resolved” after a PET scan. That meant I’m going in the right direction. I currently have 2 more chemo treatments left.
My last treatment is Nov. 2nd. A week before my birthday, Nov. 9th. So I decided to put my Twitter name (@Drew) up for auction hoping to raise some money to give to LIVESTRONG for my birthday. This is the foundation that has been by my side since my diagnosis.
I talked to Twitter before this. Their terms of service strictly prohibit selling a twitter name for personal financial gain. They understood what I was trying to do and blessed it.
So we went forward and Drew Carey (@DrewFromTV) got wind of the auction. The starting bid was $10,000. A huge amount in my mind. He took it further with a starting bid of $25,000. And then minutes later threw in a curveball. If he got 100,000 followers by auction end (Nov 9th), his bid would turn into $100,000.
And then the bombshell yesterday. If he gets 1,000,000 (one million) followers by the end of THIS YEAR, December 31st, he will donate $1,000,000 (one million dollars) to LIVESTRONG. (watch the video with Shira Lazar here!)
Leah Clark totally got what Drew Carey is trying to do.
He is raising awareness, he is taking an opportunity to give to a wonderful organization and help obliterate a horrific disease…cancer.
More to come, there’s a whole month left for bidding and a whole few months left before the end of the year. Will another Drew bid? Drew Barrymore, Drew Brees? If they do, what does that mean? It means more awareness will be raised for a disease that is assumed to be “under control” or “something that won’t affect me”.
Since his bid, he went from 13k followers to over 60k at this point. He gets it and so do you. You are participating in raising priceless awareness AND a VERY significant dollar amount that goes right to Cancer research.
My “digital identity” - the cool party trick where you say “Hey I’m @Drew on Twitter” and people say “Just Drew? Whoah”. Sure, it’s just a Twitter name, but it’s pretty sweet you have to admit.
My mom and dad are the only ones in the world who still call me Andrew. So Drew is who I am.
I’m done with chemo on November 2nd. My birthday is November 9th. The reason why I like 9’s so much :) I’m obviously going to have a really sweet party/fundraiser on that day (1 on each coast), but I wanted to do something else. Do something to kick Cancer right where it hurts.
Auction my treasured @Drew for charity. All proceeds going to LIVESTRONG - the organization who has been there for me from Day 1 of diagnosis. Bidding ends on November 9th (My Birthday), and the highest bid gets it. Just tweet your bid with the hashtag #drewbid.
I made sure to ask Ev at Twitter about it first, because I didn’t want to go against any Terms of Service. Since no personal financial gain was being made, it’s a donation to a non profit, all was well.
Who would buy it? Maybe Drew Barrymore, Drew Carey, Drew Brees, Drew Curtis, Drew Gooden? Or a non celebrity Drew who wants the great Twitter name. All IN the name of charity and Cancer Crushing.
The word was getting out there, people were talking and sharing. More blames coming in. People were kicking Ethan’s Cancer into oblivion at a record setting pace with blames. (Over 600 people already!!!)
Then, whilst in Starbucks, I saw this:
Drew Carey bid $25,000 for my Twitter name!
And THEN! (as if that wasn’t enough to make me almost pass out)
WHAT? I almost dropped my Starbucks on handoff from the barista dude.
"Are you ok?" he said.
I almost responded “Yeah, I have cancer and people blame things on it. Well because I asked them to. And we raise money for LIVESTRONG and I’m selling my Twitter name Drew and Drew Carey just bid $25k on it and then said he’ll give $100k if he gets 100k followers”
An Open Letter to my Cancer - Part Whatever, I lost count.
Hiding I hear? My dr. gave me the good news last week. 3 more chemo treatments and you’re done is what it sounds like. You put up a pretty weak fight, but that’s OK by me.
Your buddies are messing with Ethan quite a bit and I don’t like it one bit. But you know what? Y’all are gonna lose…again. See, folks like us can’t lose. When we “lose” loved ones, they don’t lose to YOU. In fact, they don’t lose at all. They have fought their fight. And just couldn’t fight anymore. So peeps like me and Ethan, and millions of others who come out on top get to kick your ass some more.
Scary huh? Way scarier than your sneak attack ass. We’re fighting you head on, while you poke around in the deep dark recesses of our bodies just waiting for the right moment to whoop up on us. That doesn’t make you smart. That makes us angry. And that makes you screwed.
We have an army of blamers who are taking every bit of energy they have for all of the stuff that bothers them, annoys them, ticks them off…and it’s coming right for you.
No sneak attack here you freakin jerk. Philly style, right in the jaw.
Tick tick tick dipshit, your days are numbered.
Your Ever-increasing-worst-nightmare-that-will-never-go-away Drew.
P.S. - You go into remission, but guess what…I don’t.
You know the drill. Something bugging you? Blame Ethan’s Cancer. Someone annoy you? Blame Ethan’s Cancer.
Blame it until his cancer is gone.
Your support and well wishes and blames - sometimes hilarious, sometimes touching - have helped me through my battle. While I’m still going through it, I am doing well and am almost done with chemo. 3 more treatments.
Ethan’s fight is different, but that doesn’t mean the outcome won’t be the same.
He can win. He WILL win.
Let’s help him out with a lot of love and a bit of blame.